Tag Archives: Adventures across Asia

Breaking up with Asia

Well here it is, the end. I’ve procrastinated writing this post for a few reasons. 1) because one of my most unfortunate qualities is that I have procrastinated everything my entire life 2) because this post marks the definitive end of my adventures across Asia, a fact that I have been woefully ignoring 3) because I feel an overwhelming need to justify my 5 month experience in one final post, a task which I am completely incapable of. That being said, here we go!

Before I get too deep (yeah, we’re getting deep today friends), let me tell you about my final week in Asia! I think I use this particular adjective too much, and it’s a loaded word, but here I go again- my last week in Asia was perfect. Just like the rest of my adventure- inspiring, chaotic, overwhelming, fun, humbling, flawed, spontaneous, easy, difficult, beautiful…. perfect! I have always been a perfectionist (yuck.), but this word now has new life for me. I used to think perfection meant I had to be good at everything- but that’s BS. Perfection is not at all the absence of fault, my adventure had plenty of faults (none of which I regret); but rather the ability to embrace the bad and the good equally, recognizing that one could not be without the other. Too much good is- boring, unfulfilling, annoying. Too much bad is- depressing and useless. In the right amounts, a natural balance of the two is- perfect. Alright now that we got that tangent out of the way (do I have ADD?), let’s get back to Cambodia.

One thing I would like to share about Phnom Penh is the horrific history of the Khmer Rouge and their deadly regime. For those of you who don’t know, the Khmer Rouge (led by dictator Pol Pot) took forceful control of the country in the 1970s. They spent three years in power, during which time more than 25% of the population was ruthlessly murdered by the government. What a disgusting statistic. Imagine if your government just wiped out a quarter of your population, one of every four of your friends is now dead. These innocent people were beaten, starved, and worked to death. No one was spared. The educated, successful, ambitious, intellectual, and creative citizens of the country were sought out and arrested. They were tortured for months before eventually being executed. The more poverty stricken part of the population, who weren’t thrown in jail, were put to work 12 hours a day to increase the government’s profits on exports. Since they were busy selling all that was produced, there was literally not enough food left in Cambodia to feed the people. Even the people that worked for the Khmer Rouge were at risk of sudden execution. Anyone could be killed at anytime for any reason. My friend Helene and I spent an entire day at both the killing fields and the infamous s-21 prison while in Phnom Penh. It was the kind of day that leaves a lump in your throat and a knot in your heart. The amount of human suffering that occurred during this time in Cambodia is almost incomprehensible. An entire generation of intelligence and leadership was taken from the Cambodian people. To put the ruthlessness in perspective for you, of the 17,000 people that were arrested at s-21 prison (one of countless such prisons in cambodia), 7 made it out alive. If you ever have the chance to get to Phnom Penh, I implore to spend a difficult day learning about the heartbreaking history of the Cambodian people. It will likely leave you shaken, but also with a renewed desire to spread more good in the world.

A cell block inside the S-21 prison
A cell block inside the S-21 prison
All prisoners of the Khmer Rouge were photographed upon their arrest, here are a few of the innocent faces
All prisoners of the Khmer Rouge were photographed upon their arrest, here are a few of the innocent faces
A tribute to the lives lost at the killing fields. Many victims remains are still found around Cambodia today.
A tribute to the lives lost at the killing fields. Many victims remains are still found around Cambodia today.

After Phnom Penh, we left for Siem Reap to experience another important (and more impressive) part of Cambodian history at the temples of Angkor Wat. Angkor Wat is a stunning complex of ruins from the Angkorian Empire that ruled much of Asia during the 14th century. We spent 3 days exploring these beautiful and mystifying structures with some new friends from Phnom Penh. Together we were a group of 6- from USA, Denmark, Australia, Scotland, and Holland. We hired a tuk tuk driver to take us around for our sightseeing excursions and really had an amazing time exploring this breathtaking place. The place truly has an air of magic that is palpable to its visitors. You could really spend hours wandering each temple. I would definitely say it should be considered one of the top sights in the world. You should absolutely make it a priority to get here in your lifetime. In our time outside of Angkor Wat, we enjoyed the creature comforts of Siem Reap. Siem Reap is the city closest to the temples and as a result has grown in size and activity as the number of tourists has increased. Although it lacks the true Cambodian character, it is a fun town with great restaurants and lots of energy. We happened to be here on the weekend, so we were able to take advantage of all the excitement that the very entertaining ‘Pub street’ had to offer. Pub street closes its block to cars when the sun sets every night and turns its music up as the other bars close their doors. What results is an international dance party in the middle of the street that continues until the sun comes up. I never made it that far, but it was good fun anyway. After taking full advantage of our last Cambodian destination, it was time for my final visit to Bangkok. An ironic place to end my trip, considering 7 years ago it was the city that started it all! In 2006, I spent 5 weeks volunteering in Bangkok. Thus beginning my love affair with Asia, and eventually leading to my desire to return to this part of the world! Anyway, because I can’t seem to leave anywhere on time, I obviously changed my flight and much to my mother’s disappointment bought myself an extra day in Asia. I realize, I have an Asia problem. Oh well. In the end, I did board my flight and reluctantly said goodbye to my asian adventures.

Exploring the temple complex by tuk tuk!
Exploring the temple complex by tuk tuk!
Ornate Angkorian architecture
Ornate Angkorian architecture
Exploring with friends ( thanks Pete Williams for the photo!)
Exploring with friends ( thanks Pete Williams for the photo!)
Angkor at sunrise
Angkor at sunrise
Missing Cambodian nights out with my travel buddy
Missing Cambodian nights out with my travel buddy

So, here it is- this is where I say goodbye. Now I won’t promise I’ll never write again, because I kind of like this blogging thing. But at least, this is where I close the chapter on the last 5 months of my life. Some of the best 5 months of my life. For obvious and less obvious reasons, it’s a hard chapter to close. The best way I can think to relate it to you is that it’s like mourning a break up. Breaking up always sucks and it just takes a while to get over it. Although in the end the break up may have been for the best, it’s still requires adjustment and figuring out how start your new days with a positive attitude. Some moments, I want to burst into tears I miss traveling so much, other times I am so excited for everything that is next to come. Essentially, I spent the last 5 months in a relationship with myself. Β I realize this is incredibly selfish and a completely unsustainable way to live, but for 5 months it was beautiful. Ultimately I cared only about myself every single day. I gave myself what I wanted and what I needed, without giving much to anybody else. I put all my energy into looking after me and I am so grateful for that experience. During this relationship, I took myself on a lot of really awesome dates across the world. Now, I will go back to Utah where I will spend the majority of my energy giving to my patients, my boyfriend, my family, and my friends. Don’t get me wrong, I love all four of those things immensely and it brings me much happiness to give to these incredible people. But the last 5 months reminded me that we have to spend an equal amount of energy loving ourselves. After all, your relationship with yourself is the longest relationship you will ever have, might as well commit to making it work. While mourning my breakup, I will learn to find a balance between caring for myself and caring for others. Often, we forget that this is an essential part of a good life. I encourage you all to nurture your relationship with yourselves. Some of you may disagree, but I think we all deserve 5 months of selfishness at some point in our lives. I now know myself better than I ever have before and in turn, am able to give more of my ‘whole self’ to the people around me. The last 5 months have given me so much happiness in my heart, I have even more to share with others. So my advice- be selfish, take care of yourself first. It will make you a better person. To my friends, apologies in advance that I might be the really annoying girl who won’t stop talking about her ex for months to come. What can I say, Asia has my heart.

Now I’ve just realized I lied to you all. This isn’t my goodbye. I have a lot more to say and I guess I don’t shut up easily. My family and coworkers will definitely vouch for me on that one. So now that you understand my separation anxiety from Asia, I will share more next time on the adventure itself. Asia is a gold mine and I want to tell you all the secrets. At this moment, I am still playing tourist and en route from NYC to Philly. I will travel the northeast USA for the next 3 weeks before finally returning to Salt Lake City. The adventures continue…

Tuk tuk lady

That’s my Cambodian name. Everywhere I go, I am greeted by eager (read: desperate) waves and happy ‘tuk tuk lady’ greetings. (For those of you who haven’t been to Asia- a tuk tuk is the motorcycle-pick up hybrid used for a taxi.) Every man in Cambodia with a set of wheels knows my nickname and I can’t actually walk more than half a block without attracting masses of tuk tuk lady fans. It’s like being a celebrity, except that no one wants my photo just my money. Okay so maybe it’s not like being a celebrity. But still, being the tuk tuk lady gives you instafame in Cambodia and even with a tan, I am still not successfully able to hide my identity behind a pair of sunglasses. I am recognized everywhere. Angelina, I feel ya. No okay so I’ll stop making myself sound importnant because in reality, I am not unique. All foreign women are known around here as tuk tuk ladies. I imagine it began as a proper question with infliction and everything- intended to be read as ‘tuk tuk, lady?’. These days the concern for proper english grammar escapes the tuk tuk drivers and the phrase has instead turned into a nickname that lovingly refers to us chicks as oversized motorcycle-cars, capable of carrying 6 passengers in our bellies. “HEEEEY, TUK TUK LADY!!!!” But really, everyone should get to Cambodia at least once- just to experience the prestige of being the elusive, but highly sought after tuk tuk lady. Well when I put it that way, I guess it’s more like being a rare bird. Finally someone sees me for what I am!! πŸ˜‰

So, what haven’t I been up to since arriving in Cambodia! Aside from an abundance of tuk tuk ladies, this country is also full so many other good things. After our harrowing crossing of the border from Vietnam (just kidding. Even though I was mentally prepared for disaster, it was the easiest thing I’ve done in Asia.), our first stop was Kep. Kep is a small fishing town with not much going on except for seafood and sunsets. Not a bad thing after having spent the previous week inhaling the toxic fumes of Saigon’s very polluted air. In Kep, I reunited with my very lovely norwegian friend Helena whom I met at a yoga class in Sri Lanka. We will travel Cambodia together before going our separate ways in Bangkok next week. (AH Bangkok next week- tear.) After just two nights in Kep, we made our way to dusty little Kampot where we spent just one night as a layover on our way to the very south. For such a small, random town, Kampot has a surprisingly large expat community and I swear there must be something in the water. I know of more than one female backpacker who has decided to make Kampot their home, in the name of Cambodian love. Kampot moms- you raise good sons, well done. In Kampot, Helena and I rented bikes for the day and explored the backroads of the nearby villages. This was my first taste of real Cambodian life and we had a beautiful day getting lost with the locals. Also I just have to give another shout out to Kampot chefs- thanks for the BEST omelet I’ve had in Asia. If you ever find yourself in this charming little town, go spend an afternoon or a day at Cafe Espresso and order everything on the menu. Cambodia is the first Asian country I’ve been to that serves real cheese and I am now in culinary heaven. Merci beaucoup, French colonization!

Helena, enjoying everything in cafe espresso
Helena, enjoying everything in cafe espresso
Adorable girls on our adventure in the villages!
Adorable girls on our adventure in the villages!
Sunsets in Kep
Sunsets in Kep

Next, we were off to Sihanoukville for some serious beach bumming. On the way Sihanoukville, I found out that Cambodians seriously know how to pack em in (like, as a country, they would probably kick ass at Tetris) and have a commendable ability to get their money’s worth. We were at least 20 in what I can only assume was a 12 person van. Every time we thought we were full, there was another traveler squeezing their bum into a seat I didn’t know existed. Our bags were roped to the trunk in some sort of impressive spider web fashion, and even though I had my doubts (cars have trunk doors that shut for a reason) all of the bags arrived in Sihanoukville. We even passed a van that had gotten really efficient and turned the exploding bag mess into extra seats behind the van. So people were actually sitting on floating bags that weren’t even inside the van, Cambodians really know how to tie a rope. Anyway I spent the trip to Sihanoukville with a fortunately petite and kind Canadian girl on my lap. After 2 hours of awkward spooning and sharing equal frustration over our unfortunately large bums, how could we not be friends? So Helena and I, with our new friends Jesse and Cole arrived in Sihanoukville and wandered off to Otres beach to find our very own beachside bungalow. Sihanoukville is itself a city, which is then divided into several different beaches; with the most popular being Serendipity beach. Thanks to the masses of tourists, it’s not so serendipitous anymore and fortunately some girls I met in Vietnam had recommended Otres. Otres is the free spirited hippy sister of the somewhat skanky, definitely boozy but very popular Serendipity. So we settled for a wooden shack with just enough room for 2 beds and fully equipped with mosquito nets and fans. That’s all you need when you pay $6 a night and can roll out of bed to the beach. After 3 days here we were then easily convinced to join our Canadian friends for a few days on a mostly deserted island called koh rong.

Fresh coconuts and warm waves, life is good on Otres!
Fresh coconuts and warm waves, life is good on Otres!
Snorkeling off Sihanoukville
Snorkeling off Sihanoukville

The only way I can capture our arrival off the ferry on to the white sands of koh rong is by comparing it to the very cliche scene from Leo DeCaprio’s ‘The Beach’. Not even kidding, that’s how we felt. This is a hidden paradise and definitely had to consider if I really wanted to share the secret with you all. You’re welcome. As you get near to the pier, it becomes quickly obvious how pristine this island is. Minutes later, you find yourself with your feet sinking into the silky white sand surrounded by happy beautiful young people swimming, dancing, and playing to groovy music while enjoying their sunset cocktails next to turquoise blue water and palm trees. It really is too picture perfect and if it sounds like I am describing something directly out of your dreams, it’s because I probably am. Koh Rong is the beautiful beachy heaven of young travelers. The street is nothing more than a beach and the hotel rooms resemble the treehouses we had in our backyards as kids. The locals are friendly, the food is delicious, the beaches are deserted, and the cocktails are endless. It is not yet marred by any resorts and the majority of the ’employees’ at these bar-guesthouses are fellow backpackers who’ve decided to stay put for a month, entertaining the short time vacationers in exchange for room and board. Not a bad deal. You won’t find any families here and certainly no one that is looking for a high level of customer service, also hopefully you don’t mind rats. After a few days, Helena and I had to drag ourselves away from this hotel California-esque paradise before we got sucked in forever. Anyway- go there, before it becomes the next Thailand. And take me with you.

Arriving in our beach bliss!
Arriving in our beach bliss!
Sunset cocktails
Sunset cocktails
HEAVEN
HEAVEN

So, next we were off to Phnom Penh; the rapidly growing capitol of Cambodia. In a nutshell, Phnom Penh sucked us in and then spit us back out. But it was a blast and I would go back in a heartbeat. We got an unfortunately unpleasant welcome to the city after arriving at almost midnight and going out for a short walk to find a drink. Given that we had no map and definitely no bearings, this turned out to be an expensive walk when a few minutes later I found myself standing jaw-dropped without a purse. Yup, fell victim to my first Asian scam theft (jury is still out on who was responsible for the missing iPhone). Anyway, we realized after that these 2 guys on a motorbike must have been stalking around behind us for a little while, waiting for their chance. My purse was a tiny thing that I really didn’t even think was noticeable from the street. And like a responsible traveler, I had my bag facing the inside of the sidewalk and the strap across my chest. These guys have SKILL. I thought he was just a terrible motorcycle driver and wasn’t looking where he was going. Then my bag was gone and so was the motorbike. It was like magic. All I have to say to you motorbike thief- karma’s a b*tch. He only made off with $40, my southwest card (pretty sure that’s not gonna help you out in Cambodia, buddy), a room key, and my Burt’s bees. Overall I’ll cut my losses and consider it a win. I used to carry around my passport and all of my bank cards like a big dummy. Phew. So- I got over it quickly and we had a really good time in Phnom Penh. Our next days consisted of mostly wanderings around chaotic Phnom Penh- lots of really good food and unique shopping, with plenty of spontaneous local experiences. Our nights consisted of new friends, too many cocktails, and an excessive amount of dancing. I have definitely not been a regular participant in the Asian nightlife scene, but I’m pretty sure Phnom Penh has got it going on. Between generous happy hours, a myriad of rooftop bars, and what naive me considers a raging club scene- it was really good times. Also it should be said that nowhere else in the world exists such an eclectic crowd of booty shakers- I’m talking broke backpackers in dirty clothes, flawless lady boys, weekend warriors on short holidays from Europe, rich old creeps, Cambodia’s elite, and petite ladies in more petite dresses looking for rich old creep love. Interesting. My liver hurts just thinking about our revelry. It’s my last week in Asia, might as well go out with a bang yeah?

Being a fake foodie and enjoying delicious organic food in Phnom Penh :)
Being a fake foodie and enjoying delicious organic food in Phnom Penh πŸ™‚
Phnom Penh market
Phnom Penh market
Phnom Penh from above
Phnom Penh from above

Now, after barely making our minivan (apparently, on 3 hours of sleep, you don’t hear a 7am alarm clock) to Siem Reap, we have arrived at our final Cambodian destination! I will post again soon because I still have much to stay about the Khmer Rouge regime and my heart aching experience at the killing fields and the notorious S21 prison. But that’s heavy and i’ll save it for another time. I will be in Siem Reap until Monday or Tuesday, exploring the famous temples of Angkor Wat and soaking in all the Asian culture I can get. I’m not ready to leave.

Happy New Year, from Cambodia :)

Happy new year my friends! I hope you all enjoyed your celebrations and are excited about what 2013 has given you and what 2014 will bring to you. For me, a new year is another reminder that life goes quick and the present is really a precious thing. I think this has been one of my biggest lessons in 2013, and I am grateful to have developed an awareness of the power each day holds. It sometimes terrifies me that we don’t know what will happen tomorrow, next week, or next year. But if we recognize this, then we also have the ability to appreciate each day’s potential. So much can be done in a day! Every day we have the opportunity to make ourselves and those around us happier, better people. If each day holds that much magnitude, imagine what can be done with 365 of them! I love what I have done with my year. Use your years wisely my friends, you never know when you will run out.

I celebrated the new year in Saigon, Vietnam with an eclectic crowd of new international friends. We were a group of- Vietnamese, Australian, Dutch, French, and American. It was perfect. (Except for that part where I woke up without an iPhone.) My nights out in Asia have generally been somewhat few and far between (25 is the new 50, when it comes to my ability to consume alcohol without a hangover) so it was fun to dress up (backpacker style) for a night of celebration. Though Saigon is generally a busy, crowded city; the people in the streets seemed to multiply on an exponential level this night. Most were on a mission to get to the harbor for fireworks. Sadly I missed these, but from what I hear they were pretty incomparable to our 4th of July celebrations. The night was a perfect way to end my month of Vietnam and mark the completion of a year of adventure. December was after all, my last full month in Asia. 😦

So, since my Christmas post I have been moving at a rather leisurely pace through the southern part of Vietnam. I spent the holiday in a beach town called Mui Ne, with some Australian friends I met in Nepal. Christmas Day included bikinis, sangria, and spring rolls. It was pretty blissful. Through the power of the Apple geniuses I was able to open gifts with my family, virtually, for the 3rd year now. I think they are getting used to my face on a computer screen. I sent back a bag of Asian Christmas gifts with my friend Alyssa, so it was fun to watch them open them. I spent a few days at the pool before making the longest 200km journey to Saigon ever. 8 hours… Seriously?! It doesn’t even make sense.

Honestly, I wasn’t much looking forward to returning to Saigon but it seemed to be the next stop on the road south so there was again. To be fair, I had only previously spent a day in Saigon, which isn’t any amount of time to judge a city. This time I was here for a week, and I did indeed leave with a new opinion! Saigon is a crazy chaotic city, but it is also vibrant and full of an endless number of things to do. I also happened to find myself in the city at the same time as many other friends and made some good new ones during this week. I hadn’t yet stayed in a hostel during my entire time in Vietnam so I decided it was time to live like a backpacker again. It was a fancier hostel than most, called Townhouse 50. I spent my first couple days with a Canadian teacher who lives in China and then a dutch guy who became my buddy for the week. We enjoyed an interesting (word choice?) tour of a cao dai temple (this religion worships the left eye and only exists in Vietnam. True story.) and a very biased adventure in the cu chi tunnels. The cu chi tunnels are an infamous network of passageways that was largely responsible for the success of the Vietcong in southern Vietnam. I believe it extends for almost 200 km. Here we watched a movie that introduced us to ‘American Killer Heroes’ and were able to witness the brutality of replica ‘American soldier traps’. Being an American, it was a little bit hard to listen to at times. All in all, it was very eye opening and education. But I would not suggest any Vietnam vets visit this place. The rest of the week I enjoyed the more local side of the city with my new Vietnamese friend, Tram. I met Tram through Alyssa, the first time I was in Saigon. She was gracious enough to take my around on her Vespa for several days and we got up to a lot of fun. To top it all off- I was lucky enough to see my coworker, Thu, who works as a pharmacist on my unit at Huntsman. We caught up over some very culturally confused German beers (served by Asians in lederhosen) and as always, it was soo good to see a familiar face from home!

The day after New Years, I left with my Australian friends for a 3 day tour of the Mekong delta that would eventually drop us at the Cambodian border. Generally, I am not one for organized tours but we decided this would be the most practical way to explore the south. It was good, we spent a few days on various rivers and waterways and enjoyed many markets and exotic dishes of field rat and snakes. I did not indulge in either of this delicacies. We made it to the border on the 4th of January, the same day on which I unfortunately realized my Vietnam visa had expired on the 3rd of January. I was sure this could only end as an expensive mistake for me and we went to passport control unsure of where it would go. Well, they handed my passport back to me with an exit stamp and no questions asked. I have no idea. We were well prepared to encounter several hassles at the border (it is not a popular tourist crossing) but miraculously encountered none. We made it through at least 5 border guards of both nationalities before making it successfully to Cambodian soil. All those people, and it only cost us a $2 bribe to the ‘health official’ who used his laser pointer to our foreheads to tell us we passed the temperature check. He must have been in a generous mood, because he gave us a $1 discount and with a big smile explained that this fee was because ‘I am police officer!’. Fair enough, at least the man is honest.

Well, now I am on the beach in the very south of Cambodia enjoying the precious time I have left on this beautiful continent! Less than 2 weeks. More on Cambodia later! xo

Hi friends,
I am now again in the south of Thailand enjoying time in the sun and becoming an Open Water Certified Scuba Diver! Since I last posted, I spent a few days in Pai which was surprisingly wonderful. I was afraid it would be too crowded to be enjoyable, but fortunately it has still retained all of its character and charm. I stayed two nights in a little bungalow that had a roof made of leaves and a wall I could stick my hand through. Also if I jumped on the bed I think I would have gone straight through the floor. It was a cold night sleep but it was a fun place to stay. It was called “The Pai Circus School and Resort” and you could take all kinds of juggling and fire poi lessons. I didn’t. I spent my weekend in Pai motorbiking through the Thai countryside, playing in waterfalls, and enjoying the company of new friends. It was good times!

My cozy little bungalow :)
My cozy little bungalow πŸ™‚

Leaving Pai on Sunday, I began a long and arduous journey to the beach. Public transport post: My first leg included a mini van from Pai to Chiang Mai around the most winding roads your could ever imagine. So winding in fact, that it has lead the roadside shop keepers to post signs such as this-

image

After a brief stop in Chiang Mai (with just enough time for one last yoga class at Wild Rose!) I was boarded on to my overnight “VIP” bus. Remember last time when I took a VIP bus and it was AWESOME? Yeah, this time my “VIP” bus was a disgusting conglomerate of ripped and stained seats with questionable smells. I guess I should have seen through the half price ticket. Ah well, scammed again. Next- I arrived in Bangkok the following morning, 2 hours late and on the other side of town from the bus station. I guess scam buses don’t park at bus stations, I did in fact board it in the back of a gas station. Anyway, now I needed to be at the airport in 45 minutes for my flight to Phuket. Well, unfortunately for me the only taxis I was able to wave down for the next 30 minutes refused to use their meter and wanted a double fare. No thanks. So I finally caught a cab 5 minutes before take off, and after significant protest traffic (don’t know if you’ve heard but the Thais are trying to overthrow their government) made it to the airport well after my flight had taken off. So I take a deep breath and get in line to buy a new ticket. $130, 3 hours, and an overpriced “limo” ride to Khao Lak later, I have reached my destination! Now I need to brag for a moment and just let you all know that through the chaos, I didn’t shed a tear! Not one! I considered it briefly during my desperation for a taxi, but it didn’t happen. For those of you who have been reading along since I left, you may remember that time I cried over a plate of airplane eggs. Anyways, I think my skin is getting a little thicker and I’ve toughened up. Hooray!

So now I’m in Khao Lak, having just completed day 1 of my dive course! This is the second dive course I’ve taken in my life (this cert will be a little higher) and so it’s not been too difficult. I got talked in to joining the live aboard ship for the weekend so I will stay here until at least monday. The catch of the live aboard was that it returns on Monday and my visa expires on Saturday. So to solve this dilemma, yesterday I went to Burma! The dive shop manager (Wicked Diving, its fantastic!) offered to take me along on the “visa run” him and his girlfriend just so happened to have had planned for the next day. Thailand has these crazy laws where you can only stay in the country for a certain amount of months, but as soon as you leave the country and re-enter you can have a new visa. So, a popular tourist trip in Thailand has become a “visa run”. Mostly, these are booked with travel agencies. But I had the luck of tagging along with two seasoned pros. I went to Burma for 10 minutes, just enough time to have my passport stamped in and out… and then I returned (via rickety wood boat) to Thailand where I have been granted a legal stay until Christmas.

Speaking of Christmas, let me bore you a few moments with my current internal struggle. When do I go home?!?! Help me, suggestions and opinions please. I have no flight home (unless I miraculously arrive in Dubai by the 17th of December) and haven’t made up my mind about if I am meant to stay in Asia or be home for the holidays. Here is the dilemma. (Disclaimer- I’m going to get real here for a minute… so if you don’t like the mushy stuff stop reading now). I love my family, and as most of you know my mom and dad move to Slovakia on January 1st. On top of that, I generally live across the country and work a job that doesn’t close its doors on a holiday. I had planned to spend this Christmas with them and would really love to. Can we delay Christmas by a month? Then all my problems would be solved. So if I come home at Christmas I can spend the holidays with my family and enjoy my mom and dads company before they move to Europe. I also told my work I would be back in January and I feel more and more guilty the longer I stay away. My heart also aches hearing of the hardships of my patients and coworkers and not being able to be there. So there’s that. On the other hand, I have found myself in Asia. And I am afraid I will lose myself if I go home. I know I need to go home eventually, but I don’t know if I’m ready yet. These past few months I have discovered a new comfort and a happiness of being more alive and more myself. I know I am getting cliche and far too gushy, but I can’t help it people. Sorry, bear with me! While pleasant, my life in Salt Lake was monotonous and I was just going through the motions. Doing things I thought were or would make me happy, while still feeling an incredible amount of boredom, anxiety, insecurity, and restlessness. Since traveling, I have felt more me than ever before and discovered a confidence I didn’t know I had. At home, my anxiety was so bad I was seeing a therapist regularly and it was affecting both large and small decisions. Now, I can’t even tell you the last time I felt anxious. Maybe only a fleeting feeling a handful of times since August. Well, until this past week when I have been running circles in my head trying to make a plan. So this is my problem. Do I stay or do I go now?? (hehe) Real life is waiting and will always be, so I have to go back. I just don’t when. What I have learned these past few months is nothing short of amazing, and I am so connected to myself I can’t even believe it. I have never appreciated me like I appreciate me now. I don’t want this to go away and I am worried that when I go home it will slowly dissolve and I will be back to my routine life. It’s easy to say “Well, just don’t let it happen! You’re happiness is up to you and you are in control”. Yes, I realize this and I hope this will be the case. But I have found something amazing here and I hope you can understand why it is Β hard for me to let it go. So, if I leave, am I quitting my adventure too soon? Or if I stay, am I just avoiding the inevitable? What to do. I am lucky enough to have the support of my family no matter what I choose. Grateful for this!

Hope you all had a lovely Thanksgiving and a tasty turkey. I went for a scuba dive and then a korean barbecue. No turkey for me this year, but it was fun nonetheless! Missed our annual game of LCR though. Tonight I board the boat for the weekend where I will complete my certification. Should be fun! Enjoy your holiday weekend πŸ™‚

A much overdue post! I have been so busy in Thailand that any spare time I have I usually spend sleeping, which says a lot because I am still freaking exhausted! I have been in Thailand for about a week and half now. It’s going too quickly! Conor arrived last monday and we have been doing the most fantastic tour de Thailand ever. He is only here 12 days so it was tricky trying to come up with an itinerary that would hit all the good stuff but not leave us running from one place to the next. I did a lot of research pre arrival (way back when I had lots of time for reading in my little mud house with no electricity, remember that?) and I don’t mean to brag but I could potentially be a travel agent. Maybe it’s genetic and I got it from my mom. Anyway we spent our first two and half days in Bangkok hanging with the hoards of tourists that flock from all over the world to play in this country. It was interesting being in Bangkok after spending so much time in Nepal and then Sri Lanka, there are white people EVERYWHERE. And there is a lot of money and a lot modernization. It’s good and bad. Bad because it almost feels like there are more tourists than Thai people and you can’t help but feel a little guilty. You also inevitably lose the character of the country when everything is tailored to foreigners. It’s good because the masses of people speaks for the charm of the country, it is incredible and everyone wants a piece of it. I also enjoy meeting other travelers and am now being afforded many luxuries I was left wanting in Nepal and Sri Lanka. Mostly- Not being looked at and/or judged for being a woman, electricity 24 hours, english speakers, shopping. So we enjoyed our few days of sightseeing and photo snapping. I even splurged and we stayed in this posh little hotel called Shanghai Mansion in the heart of Chinatown. It was amazing, if you ever need a great a place to stay- go there. Other highlights included- river cruising, buddha and temple sightings, fish eating our feet, so much street food, roof top cocktails, a thai ska band, and a Muay Thai match.

On Wednesday we crammed into a “bus” (also known as a van, where I am from) and sucked our bellies in while balancing our massive backpacks (why would the bus have room for luggage?) for the one hour ride to Ayuthaya. Ayuthaya was the previous capitol of Thailand back in the 1300s. It was full of massive palaces and temples where the Kings and Monks ruled. A few centuries later most of the structures were destroyed by the Burmese during the war. Now all that’s left is these incredible ruins that will make your jaw drop. Despite the destruction, the buildings are beautiful and the size and detail that was created so many centuries ago is just amazing. We stayed here overnight and rented to bikes to explore the ruins. It was a quick side trip from Bangkok and gave Conor a good taste of the rich history of Thai culture. We arrived back in Bangkok on Wednesday afternoon where we had just enough time to grab a drink with some friends of mine from Nepal (an Australian couple who is traveling Thailand now as well) on the notorious Khao San Road. Then we we’re off on the overnight train to Southern Thailand! A word of advice for future rail travelers- book ahead!! We misinformed that we could get a ticket just before we got on the train, unfortunately I didn’t see the blurb in my guide book that recommended the opposite until just a few hours before the train left. We were left with the option of buying seats (for a 12 hour, 7pm-7am ride) or purchasing very overly priced beds from an incredibly savvy travel agent who tailors to people in our situation. She buys out the last car of beds just for the desperate last minute folk. Anyway, it was well worth the money. We got seats that converted into bunk beds and got to know some great Swedes who thought they could actually eat “spicy” food in Thailand. Note: Nobody can eat spicy food in Thailand without some pretty severe consequences.

When we woke up we were just a van ride away from Khao Sok National Park. We spent two nights here in a crazy little tree house bungalow in a forest full of monkeys. This was Conor’s first experience of mosquito nets, cold showers, sharing your room with insects of various sizes, and unreliable electricity. I just felt like I was back at Auma and Baba’s house! We went jungle trekking to some waterfalls after arriving and enjoyed a very hot but fun hike. We even saw a snake eat a frog! So cool. The next day we took a tour to a nearby lake that is about the most massive body of water ever. It was created by a dam about 30 years ago and there are whole villages underwater. It is surrounded by limestone cliffs and more jungle. We went on a boat to a little floating village, where we explored via ancient and unsteady kayak the nearby coves. For lunch we were served very fresh fish and then we were off on another jungle trek. This time to a cave that was amazing! The cave was used as a communist hideout a few decades ago and is a massive network of pools and passages. It was full of bats and stalactites. It was a really cool experience.

The next day, we took another VAN (AHH) to the coast and hopped a ferry to the island of Koh Lanta. Speaking of another van, I think I could author an entire blog on public transport in Asia. Holy crap. Koh Lanta is labeled a beach bum paradise and that it is. We decided it would be a good place to start our time in the islands and it was a good call. This place is so chill and really lives up to its description. We are staying in a little multi colored bungalow with hello kitty sheets and silk-ish blankets. It’s got a lot of character. Anyway its $20 a night and a few steps from the beach. Yes please. Yesterday we went elephant trekking, weird but fun, and explored the island. Today we went on a snorkeling tour of four nearby islands. It was so beautiful and we saw lots of really cool fish. We opted for the cheap boat (the other options being- a large tour boat, or a an expensive ‘first class’ speed boat). Our was a long wooden row boat looking thing with a car engine on the back. I learned the hard way that it is not a good idea to drink a lot of gin the night before boarding one of these boats. Oh man, I thought was going to have to jump ship. I lived however, but not before forgetting my entire wallet (passport and everything. yikes.) on the boat and Conor having a lobster back (it was bound to happen sooner or later). We will stay here another day than go to Ko Phi Phi before returning to Bangkok for Conor’s flight home. This has been his first trip abroad and I’m hoping he’s caught the bug. So far so good! It’s been lots of fun. Okay skeeters are eating me so I gotta run, big hugs to all! xo

The adventure begins!!
The adventure begins!!

Conor ascending the steep steps at Wat Arun

A big gold Buddha at Wat Pho!
A big gold Buddha at Wat Pho!
Cocktails and the Bangkok skyline
Cocktails and the Bangkok skyline
Ringside seats at a Muay Thai match
Ringside seats at a Muay Thai match
The Muay Thai Champion!!
The Muay Thai Champion!!
A Thai night out, cheap beers and dancing to Ska music!
A Thai night out, cheap beers and dancing to Ska music!

 

Noodles at a floating restaurant in Ayuthaya
Noodles at a floating restaurant in Ayuthaya
Exploring by bike
Exploring by bike
An amazing sunset at the temple ruins of Ayuthaya
An amazing sunset at the temple ruins of Ayuthaya
Conor all tucked in for the night on our overnight train to the south
Conor all tucked in for the night on our overnight train to the south
A sleepy Conor ready for a day of exploring, from our little jungle hut!
A sleepy Conor ready for a day of exploring, from our little jungle hut!
Caving Khao Sok National Park
Caving Khao Sok National Park
I am now a licensed elephant driver. Lucky Conor, my first ever passenger!
I am now a licensed elephant driver. Lucky Conor, my first ever passenger!
A little bit of heaven at our beach side accommodation in Koh Lanta!
A little bit of heaven at our beach side accommodation in Koh Lanta!
Snorkeling in the Andaman Sea!
Snorkeling in the Andaman Sea!
Feeding tropical fruits to tropical fish!
Feeding tropical fruits to tropical fish!

I am not any good at surfing…

But I still had fun! Which is difficult for me when I am not any good at something. I like being good at things. I know my friends and family will have a really hard time believing that (hah.hah.), but it’s true! My self competitiveness is one of my biggest strengths as well as one of my biggest faults. It drives me to work hard and get better but it also drives me down internally. Being good at things is my own form of self validation. I always wanted to be a fast swimmer, a great friend, a strong athlete, a successful student, an incredible nurse, a stylish chick, an entertaining host, etc. It doesn’t matter how significant or insignificant, I want to be good at everything. But alas, I am not and I often struggle to feel confident among my shortcomings. It is in fact, normal, to not be good at everything. Now when I really think about it I realize I would like myself less if I was good at everything. That would be no fun at all and I probably wouldn’t be that enjoyable of a person to be around. Who likes perfect people? No one. It’s just been a silly measure of self-confidence for me that it is in fact a big waste of time! So, surfing in Sri Lanka has been a lesson for me in this: feeling successful among my shortcomings.

Every time I stand up on my surfboard, I fall down. Whether it’s a half second later or just before I reach the beach, I eventually fall down. I catch waves every now and again, but they are not graceful nor particularly pretty to watch. In my own way, I am successful. I am not the dutch girls who are ripping waves with the boys all day long. Looking so much cooler than I could ever be and definitely the most badass chicks on the beach. I am not the Sri Lankan beach bums who can stand up on their surfboards with their eyes closed. I am not the quick learning “are you sure you haven’t done this before?” beginner I was hoping to be. Although on my first day I did fool people into thinking I had. Beginners luck. It’s been downhill every day since. But it is okay. I am surfing in Sri Lanka. I am teaching myself how to do something I’ve never done before. I am smiling. I am making new friends. I am learning to enjoy something I am not good at. I am admiring the surfers around me. I have found a new sport that is fun and I can do all over the world. People are laughing at me but I am laughing at me too. I think I have been successful at surfing.

This is a measure of success on which I am judging myself for the first time, and I hope I can use it in future failures. Just like on my surfboard, I will always fall down. Whether it’s a big fall or just losing my balance a little bit, it’s still gonna happen. I am not perfect at anything, nor do I have to be. When I fall in the future, I will make a conscious effort to find the success in the shortcoming. Because it’s there somewhere, and we all deserve not to be so harsh on ourselves. I will also avoid holding others to my previously abused standard of success. If I’m not perfect, why do they have to be? They’re probably better than me at surfing, anyway. I will appreciate the successes of others as a measure of their attitude and effort. Not on whether or not they fall off their surfboard. Even the best surfers fall off, they wouldn’t be trying very hard if they didn’t.

This week of falling off my surfboard in Sri Lanka has been perfect. I have had only good days in this country, not of course, without a few bad moments. But Sri Lanka has been a success! I feel better about myself everyday and for reasons I never would have imagined. Traveling teaches you things you can’t learn in your own environment. I am so lucky to be having all these experiences, even the bad ones. (Like yesterday when my surfboard leash broke TWICE, and i was told to pay 6,000 rupees for a faulty product. An exercise in deep breathing.) I have just a few days left in this beautiful country and I am soaking it all in. Nothing went according to plan in Sri Lanka (like- I was supposed to embrace solitude, why am I having dinner with friends every night? I meant to go to Kandy and explore Sri Lankan culture, but my toes are still firmly in the sand. I was gonna go to surf camp, until I decided to become my own teacher) but it has been fantastic nonetheless. More to come on my Sri Lankan life in tomorrow’s post. Then… it’s on to Thailand!

I hope you all have time to laugh at your shortcomings today and think about finding somewhere to plan your next adventure. I’m going to go get back on my surfboard! See you later!

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